You

 You sit back in the cut

thinking 

"what the fuck, she really loved me,

 really wanted to put no other nigga above me."

 You reminisce thinking of your first kiss, 

her lips,

her eyes when you looked at her,

her smile,

her laugh,

her ass…

tickled by her own brand of sass and class

you sit there wishing each moment had last.

Shaking your head,

"No, "you argue with yourself.

"Making dat paper,

risking it all to owe no one else a favor.

Is worthy of walking away from love. "

Your only turning your back cuz you have to stack so your legacy has no lack. 

But... your heart whispers a counterpoint.

"She's my all and I'm divided.

 She wants my heart soft ,

but, I need it cold to push thru this last part.

 "Why won't she be patient??"

Your sighs full of anguish but,

the pressure isn't from the outside 

it stems from within in your own

heart because she's loved you when you were near and far.

Blunt in hand you sit there pushing that ache away... again.

Puffing like each cloud will push thoughts of her far enough from your mind

because the ones in your heart are heavy enough.

"Fuck, I need to think about my finances and kids,"

you mutter and shake your head as if trying to shake her out your ear,

your mind,

your heart,

your soul.